


Necromancy By Default

by Masterweaver



Category: Zombieland Saga (Anime)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2019-09-27 22:11:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17170355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterweaver/pseuds/Masterweaver
Summary: Necromancy: The art of speaking with the dead.A series of one-shots wherein zombie girls talk about whatever comes to mind.





	1. Ruminations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things change. Some things change a lot. And if you've been dead a while, you'll notice.

Saki stared up at the ceiling, not really acknowledging the others as they shuffled around their blankets. Sakura noticed her expression--missing both a cocksure grin and a fiery glare, the former captain almost didn't look like herself.

"Saki-chan? Is there something wrong?"

"Hmmm?" Saki looked over at her. "What, no--well... no. Not wrong. I'm just thinking."

Lily gasped in shock. "I never knew you could do that! I'm so proud Saki-chan!"

A small smirk graced Saki's face. "Can it, Shrimpy. Just because I don't show off my brain doesn't mean I don't use it."

Sakura knelt down next to her. "What's on your mind?"

"I just... I saw something today and it was..." Saki shook her head. "It hit me. I was dead for twenty-one years. I'm thirty-nine. I mean, sure I'm eighteen, but... two decades, man. A lot can change."

A silence fell over the group at those words. Even Tae seemed contemplative, thoughtfully digging her teeth into a throw pillow.

"...This new world is... very strange," Junko agreed. "Even without us being zombies."

"I mean, it sort of is...?" Sakura allowed. "I can see where you're coming from, but I guess I haven't really thought about it."

Saki chuckled grimly. "You had amnesia for a good while. Of course you wouldn't be weirded out, for you the now was all you knew--until Arpino, I mean."

"...I suppose you're right," Sakura conceded, "but I also had to deal with Kotaro all that time."

"Eh, proves my point Egghead. You're just too used to weird to be weirded out."

"What was it that caused this revelation?" Yugiri asked.

Saki opened her mouth to respond, but stopped herself as she considered. She sat up quickly. "You know what, if I have to share, so does everyone. Hmmm... Hey Shrimpy!"

"Yeah?"

"You died last of us, right? Less than ten years ago. So you're probably the most used to the future world. What's the strangest thing you've noticed?"

"Huh." Lily sat down on her mat, thinking carefully. "The strangest thing... Oh, I know! Splatoon!"

Saki blinked. "What?"

"It's a weird video game Nintendo made," Lily explained. "Three or four years after I died. And I mean, it's Nintendo, right? They've already got Mario and Zelda and Pokemon and even their less-known brands are pretty famous. So why come up with a new franchise at all? But they risked it, and... Splatoon is weird, even by Nintendo standards!"

Ai scoffed. "Weirder than an Italian plumber using the power of mushrooms to fight an evil turtle army and save the princess?"

"Try colorful kid-friendly post-apocalyptic third-person shooter where the main character is a fashion-obsessed squid that fights disembodied octopus tentacles with the help of two Idols who sing in a constructed gurgly language."

"...huh. Alright, yeah, that  _is_  weird."

Tae looked up from her pillow. "Iiiiikaaaaaa?"

"Wha--oh, no, sorry!" Lily smiled awkwardly. "We were just talking about squid, we don't actually have squid, Tae-chan."

"What... what was that about Italian plumbers?" Junko asked. "I don't understand..."

Ai gave her an odd look. "Super Mario Brothers? It's the most famous video game franchise in existence."

"Cause they saved the game industry after the crash in eighty-three," Saki pointed out. "Which is when Junko died. Hey, wasn't the Donkey Kong arcade game popular back then?"

"You mean the game with the gorilla and the barrels?" Junko nodded. "I didn't exactly play video games, but when I did I liked that one."

"Yeah, Jumpman got retooled from a random carpenter into an Italian plumber, traveled across the frankly surreal landscape of the mushroom kingdom, and it was such a big hit they just kept making sequels. So now he's kind of a video game icon."

"Are video games really  _that_  important, though?"

Saki and Lily burst out laughing. Tae was rolling on the floor. Even Ai had to hide a grin.

"Well..." Sakura shrugged. "It is a multi-million dollar industry with many genres and plots... sort of like the big movie industry. So... yes, in a lot of modern cultures they are pretty big. The home console and computer gaming sections help a lot."

"I still do not know what these video games even are," Yugiri pointed out. "Should I educate myself on this subject?"

Ai rubbed her chin. "Actually... yeah, given how ubiquitous they are, and how many cons there are, yeah, you should learn about video games at some point. I'll go online and look up a good guide to introducing you, we can have a gaming night sometime soon."

"Bringing this back around..." Junko cleared her throat. "Ai-san, what's the strangest thing you've noticed about the world these days?"

Ai considered the question for a moment or two. "Outside our zombieness... and anything Franchouchou related, actually... I'm not entirely sure. If I had to say anything... Oh, I know. A lot of the popular kid's shows these days aren't purely episodic."

Yugiri tilted her head. "Meaning...?"

"Meaning, it used to be that every show on television marketed toward children Lily's age or younger had episodes that you could just drop in on and not need to know much. The theme song introduced the characters, there was an adventure and maybe a moral at the end, and that was it. But nowadays there are callbacks and arcs and setups for future plotlines and basically, you either start at the beginning or have a wiki open and ready to explain things." Ai shrugged. "It's not a bad thing, it's just... weird."

"It's not just kid's shows," Sakura noted. "Webcomics, video game franchises... arcs are showing up everywhere. Even in anime. Or have you noticed how we're supposedly an arc?"

Saki looked over. "What?"

"Yeah, there's a site devoted to figuring out the 'story' that Franchouchou is trying to tell. Apparently there's a debate over whether we're pretending to be zombies or are a satire of a corrupt idol industry. Or both."

Saki let out a low whistle. "People will make stories about anything these days, won't they?"

"Yes, that. That's the thing. I'm not against stories, but..." Ai shrugged helplessly. "Sometimes I like light entertainment. Just to sit down and watch things where I turn off my brain."

"What about fanfiction?"

"Fanfiction has arcs too," Sakura said. "There's still nonsensical stuff, but it's not uncommon for fanfics to hit a hundred chapters these days."

"...wow, geez." Saki flumped back onto her blanket. "Now I feel silly about the thing I saw."

"Yeah, you did start this conversation," Lily noted. "What was it that weirded you out?"

"Hatsune Miku."

There was a general hum of understanding from Ai, Sakura, and Lily.

Yugiri quirked a brow. "I take it that Hatsune-han is somewhat famous in this day and age?"

"She's--she's a computer program! A pre-made programmable voice and a CGI anime girl! And she's had actual real-life concerts! HOLOGRAPHIC CONCERTS!"

"Some of the Splatoon characters have had actual concerts too," Lily admitted.

"Oh throw more weird on top of it! I mean, back when I was alive, holograms were like... science fiction. And now there is an idol that is literally made of lights and sound. And she's... big. Internationally big. And I'm like... what's next? Are we going to see the moon actually colonized? Full-on A.I.? Virtual reality?"

"They're still working out the kinks on that last one," Ai mused, "but it's been iterated a couple of times now."

Saki rose her hands incredulously. "Does every house have a robot?"

"Beep boop," Tae replied, walking around stiffly.

"Are we counting roombas?" Sakura asked. "Because they're becoming pretty common, but they're basically just vacuum disks on wheels."

"Still too expensive," Lily replied. "Smartphones, though, those are ubiquitous."

"I'm not sure I like the idea of a phone being smart," Junko murmured.

"No, it's like a cell phone mixed with a computer," Sakura assured her.

"...What is a cell phone?"

"Celluar? Hand-held... it doesn't need a wire to connect to the network." Sakura frowned. "You know, it's amazing how young some of our technology is, considering how much we use it."

"Huh?" Saki sat up. "So a smartphone is like a PDA?"

"...Erm..." Sakura looked at Ai helplessly.

"If a cell phone and a PDA had a baby, and that baby had the best schooling and post-schooling classwork and graduated top of its class, and then went through an artsy fashion phase, you might end up with a smartphone," Ai explained. "Unless you got a tablet, but that... that's basically a giant smartphone these days. And some of those are part laptop computer..."

Saki shook her head. "Yeah. Twenty years, and suddenly... hey, how about you, Disco? Is the technology weirding you out too?"

Junko blinked. "Well... yes... but it's... not the strangest thing."

"Really?" Saki leaned forward. "Spill."

Junko shrunk in on herself. "I... don't know if I should."

There was a quiet moment.

"...It's about me, isn't it."

Junko's eyes snapped up. "No, Lily-chan, it's not--"

"When I... when I first told Pappy I was a girl, he took me aside and explained there would be people who didn't understand. That it had gotten better, and he would always support me, but..." Lily shrugged. "You died thirty-five years ago, Junko-chan. I can understand if I weird you out."

"It's... not just you," Junko assured her. "And... it's not really you, exactly, it's..."

She considered for a moment.

"...At the post-show meetings... I hear some people talking. And they're talking about things that... weren't talked about. Their own issues. And sometimes, yes, it is stuff like not being... stuff like being like you, but it's also things like how they are overworked, or how they reacted to the newest chapter in their favorite show, or how they had a bad day... one time, I heard somebody talking about their mental health. With actual clinical diagnosis. As casually as talking about the clothes they were wearing."

Junko folded up her legs. "We weren't that open, in my time. We... never wanted to burden others. But now... if there is a problem, you put it out there? You let people see you... imperfect? I can understand talking to a doctor about your problems. Why burden your friends? Why not just enjoy the time you have together... no matter how brief it is?"

"I don't just wave around my status to everyone," Lily pointed out.

"I know, but... you were comfortable letting us know."

"After I had spent some time with you all, yeah. And..." Lily rubbed her arm. "Well, honestly... it sort of slipped out when I was talking to Sakura about Pappy."

"But you didn't back down from it, and... that's the part that gets me. People don't back down from..." Junko waved vaguely. "From depression, or anxiety. Or things that aren't... that are so personal and different. There's no... I mean, I can see how it helps, but to me it's also strange. What if we went out on stage and admitted, to our fans, flat out, we were actual zombies? Would they all be terrified of us, or would some of them... understand?"

"Some of them would," Sakura admitted. "I don't know how many, though. It's not as open as you're thinking."

"But it's more open than it was. And... that means..."

Junko trailed a hand down her face, tracing one of many stitches.

"...You're overthinking this, Disco." Saki crossed her arms. "All anybody's ever got is their guts and their crew. Everything else is fancy junk and power multipliers. If your crew ain't got the guts to help you stand when you need it, or stand up to you when you're being an idiot, then you got to suck up and get them to a place where they do. Only difference is nowadays, people are willing to handle deeper issues."

"That and a few decades of psychological research and big realizations on how important mental health is," Ai added.

"Raaaa," Tae agreed.

"I will admit a similar disquiet," Yugiri offered. "Not that such things happen, but that such bonds form so rapidly. Knowledge of wounded souls was not so codified in my time. I learned of such things to progress my old career, but... as Junko-han has said, there was a division. Only the closest and those who knew to keep quiet were allowed to see such wounds laid bare."

"Is that what you find strangest about the modern world?"

Yugiri considered Saki's question. "...No. No, the strangest thing about this, to me, is in the moments where I find that which has not changed. I am a century and a half out of my depth. Anything I would recognize should be in museums, or books of history, to be perused by the modern generation. And yet..."

She stared out the window at the rising moon. "Sometimes, I will see a familiar gesture. A shinto shrine, kept immaculate. A turn of phrase, or a building that has been equipped with modern amenities while not being altered beyond that. I will see something... so tantalizingly familiar, in the heart of this strange new world, and it will for a brief moment bring me back to my days as a courtesan. The sensation will linger, for less than a minute after the impression is broken by a car, or an english slang, or... something else. It is... it feels like walking into a new home, and tripping over a childhood toy long thought lost. I pick it up, put it on the shelf, and stare..."

She shook her head, turning to the others. "I apologize. I suppose that does not make much sense."

"No, actually..." Ai knelt on her mat. "I get what you're saying. It happens to me too."

Junko nodded. "The new is strange... but stranger still is the familiar within the new. What changes and... what doesn't."

Tae wrapped her arms around her. "Grrrm."

"Oy! Tae-chan!" Saki grinned. "What about you, what's the strangest thing you've noticed about the world?"

The woman chewed on Junko's head thoughtfully. "Mmmmnnng... Raa-ka-raaaroo-raaaa!"

Sakura giggled. "Yes, chicken fame is kind of strange, isn't it?"


	2. Intimacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every once in a while, conversation turns to the personal.

Saki put down her chopsticks, looking across the table. After a moment, she crossed her arms. "Hey! Sparkles! Got a question for ya."

Ai glanced up at her, quirking a curious eyebrow.

"How the hell do you eat?"

"...I... put food in my mouth--"

"Yeah, but your face is all covered in bandages," Saki pointed out. "But we've all seen you eat, and you don't lift the bandages to--"

"Ugh... the bandages wrap around my lips, alright?" Ai pulled down her lower lip to demonstrate.

"Huh." Saki leaned in, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, got to be weird feeing them against your teeth all the time."

"Oo haf 'o ihea." Ai let go of her lip. "I mean it's better than just not being able to talk, don't get me wrong, but I have to... I kind of have to wonder what the medics were thinking."

"Maybe something about you still being able to eat," Saki offered. "Like... if there were medics, they'd do their best to save you, and fried skin isn't really that big of an issue, medically speaking. If all your insides were still working, you'd be in horrible pain but you'd still be able to swallow hospital food, you know?"

Ai conceded the point with a shrug. "Yeah, that would explain... a few other choices."

Saki gave her a knowing smirk. "A few? More like a couple."

The bandaged zombie gave her a flat look. "Don't go there."

"Bandages on your lips... you know, that would make kissing pretty weird too."

"Somehow I think that would be less of a concern than me being dead."

"Heh, yeah." Saki glanced away, her smile lessening somewhat. "Hard to get some when what you give is literally past the expiration date. Guess I'll have to content myself with the memories."

Ai groaned. "Lily-Chan is right _there,_ Saki! Right next to you!"

"Are you talking about sex?" Lily chirped curiously.

Junko choked on her drink. "Wh-what?!"

"Cause I know about sex."

Ai pinched her brow. "Oh, we're going to have this conversation..."

"Um, Lily-chan?" Sakura put her chopsticks down very, very carefully. "How... exactly, um, do you know about--?"

"Walked in on my producers once. Pappy was very mad, but he sat me down and explained everything." Lily casually took a bite of her chicken. "I was only traumatized for a month or two--and they did send me an apology plushie."

Sakura breathed out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank god."

Lily tilted her head. "What?"

"Um--nothing, nothing! Just some... horror stories I've heard about."

"Ah." Yugiri nodded knowingly. "I have heard a number of those horror stories myself, in my old profession. We were taught methods of repelling unpaying assailants, training which I can provide should any of you wish it."

"You know how to fight?" Saki gave a low whistle. "Damn, girl, have you been holding out on us?"

"Quite a bit. More important than knowing _how_ to fight is knowing _when_ to. And when _not_ to." Yugiri sipped her tea with a smirk. "A lesson, I believe, you did not learn until the end of your previous life."

Saki opened her mouth, paused, and chuckled. "Alright, fair enough. Yeah, I was a bit too gung-ho for my own good. But it got me pretty far, and not just as a biker!"

Ai nodded. "I suppose a degree of confidence is key in anything."

"You'd be amazed how many guys needed a push," Saki continued. "And how many girls."

Junko prodded her plate with a weary sigh. "Do you really have to drag the conversation down that sort of path?"

"What's the matter, you a prude?"

"We are idols now," she pointed out. "There is... a certain expectation."

"Right, you're from an older time." Saki crossed her arms. "I wouldn't be surprised if you're a virgin."

Junko said nothing, carefully focusing on her plate.

"...Junko-chan?"

"I've never... _been_ with anyone," Junko admitted slowly, not quite looking up.

Ai quirked a brow. "That's... oddly specific."

"...in the same room..."

Saki barked out a laugh. "What, seriously? You had _phone sex?!"_

"I thought it didn't count if he wasn't in the room!" Junko snapped.

Yugiri rose a hand. "Excuse me, what is 'phone sex?'"

"It's where instead of being in the same room two people call each other up and narrate each other's sex to each other," Lily explained.

Junko blushed, sinking into her chair. "How do you _know_ that, Lily-chan?"

"The stories I could tell you about my producers..."

"What about you, Sparkles?" Saki grinned. "You got any saucy stories?"

Ai swirled her chopsticks around a few grains of rice. "I... used to have a boyfriend. Before Iron Frill. It was actually because of Iron Frill he broke up with me, he... didn't want to ruin my chances."

Sakura, hesitantly, put a hand on her shoulder. "I... I'm sorry."

"...eh. It was... well," Ai sighed, "we convinced each other we were just teenagers eager for sex. Looking back on it, it wasn't just the sex, we'd been good friends long before then and, really, the sex was... kind of early exploring with somebody we trusted, not something we liked or disliked. But, yeah. He came to all my shows. Front row, when I could arrange it."

Her eyes shut. "He saw me... that night..."

Sakura's grip tightened, joined on the other side by Junko's.

"...damn. Yeah, that..." Saki rubbed the back of her head. "That... sucks. Really."

Ai glanced up at her wryly. "You know what sucks worse?"

"What?"

"The Franchouchou shipping wars."

Lily, Saki, and Sakura all groaned in resigned amusement.

"...Shipping wars?" Junko asked hesitantly.

"'Oh my gosh!'" Ai chirped sarcastically. "'Have you seen how Number 1 and Number 0 interact? They must be in LOOOOOVE!' 'Blasphemy! Number 1 fawns over Number 3!' 'But 3 and 4 are my OTP! Can't 1 stick with 2?' And so on."

"Ah, the tabloids." Junko nodded sagely. "Because they can't see themselves finding love, fans flock to stories where their idols to find love. Happiness by proxy."

"It's not even the tabloids these days. With the internet, people can gossip directly to each other from across the world..." Ai shrugged. "At least some people are acknowledging shipping real people is creepy. Don't think they'll ever stop shipping fictional characters, though."

"I don't care what anybody says," Lily quipped with an evil grin, "Usagi and Rei are totally in love."

"I was always more of an Ami-Makoto shipper," Sakura admitted. "Didn't want to tread on the whole Tuxedo Moon thing, since that happened."

"And I have _another_ work I need to look into," Yugiri murmured quietly.

"Hey, Egghead!" Saki grinned. "What about you, did you ever have any bedroom fun?"

"Nope. Too busy with studies, training..." Sakura shrugged. "Never really cared for it."

"We do have a virgin at the table folks!" Saki proclaimed. "Two if you count Shrimpy! Three if... should we count Tae?"

Sakura glanced at the figure who, through the entire conversation, had been chomping down on her stir fry. "...Do we _really_ want to know what her sex life was like?"

"I mean, she's older than any of us--in the biological sense. Adult woman. Who knows how many people she's been with?"

"Nraaaaaa," Tae declared.


	3. Heroism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are times one must ask what entails good and right.

"Alright, let's take a break." Ai shut off the boombox, audibly cricking her neck. "My spine is killing me."

"We're already dead," Junko pointed out.

"Figure of--" Ai caught the small smile on the girl's face. "Oh, hilarious. Seriously, though, the backbone's pretty important. You can pull legs or arms--I've even heard of a girl who went onstage with broken ribs--but the backbone can be delicate and difficult to fix. And that's when the body is still alive to heal."

"Can confirm," Saki agreed from her place against a wall. "Had to force one of my girls to drop out of Dorami after she twisted the wrong way. Forced extra payments till she recovered."

Yugiri glanced up. "Payments?"

"Ah... Saki-chan was..." Sakura fiddled with her hair. "Well, her gang--"

"We'd take over a territory and beat up people who wanted to use it unless they gave us money," Saki said flatly. "But if they did we'd give them space for a month. Even protect them from other gangs."

"Ah." Yugiri nodded. "Perhaps more informal than most samurai orders, but I suppose traditions must adapt with the times."

Sakura blinked. "...er--"

"Go on, say it." Saki grinned without shame. "You're all thinking it, somebody say it."

For a moment there was utter silence.

"You were a band of thugs," Lily finally deadpanned.

"Hell yeah, we were!"

"I... don't think that's something to be proud of," Junko murmured.

"What, cause we were hurting people? News flash, Disco, people get hurt by big groups all the time! We were _honest_ about it, and!" Saki held up a hand. "We protected the people we got money from. So, yeah, all in all, we were the good guys."

"You were the strong ones," Ai corrected. "Might does not make right."

"But you can't make right without might!" Saki countered. "How many heroes do you know that wield swords? How many stories are there about noble warriors?"

"They fight for a cause--"

"The point is that they fight!"

"It's possible to be a hero without fighting," Junko pointed out. "Like... helping somebody who's hurt. Or giving something to somebody who needs it."

"The purpose of heroism is not to remove pain, but to provide the chance for life to improve," Yugiri intoned. "Your method of defense is only one of many."

Saki snorted. "Fine, fair enough. But were any of you heroes?"

Tae rose her hand. "Grarra rrg agraa."

"Wow, seriously Tae-chan?" Saki nodded, impressed. "Almost as good as me!"

"Grrmph."

"I played a hero in a kid's show once," Lily offered. "It was one of those ridiculous edutainment things... I was 'Sky Girl', I had all the powers of weather."

"I am now officially terrified of you," Ai quipped with a wry grin.

"Hey now!"

"I have to admit my own terror of 'Sky Girl,'" Junko contributed with a small smile of her own.

Lily crossed her arm with a huff. "People don't complain about Spider-Man, even when they don't like spiders."

"Aaaaaw." Sakura hugged her. "I'm okay with Sky Girl!"

"It was just a role in one television series," Lily protested, not quite hiding her smile.

Tae wrapped her own arms around the pair. "Grrra Ska Grr!"

Saki chuckled, shaking her head. "You know, I'm just now realizing we could totally be a sentai group or something. Like, super-durable superheroes... all we need is costumes and some ridiculous merch."

"We could be senshi!" Lily offered. "Fight for love and justice!"

"I dunno, kid, I can't really see myself in a fuku."

"Split the difference," Ai suggested. "We wear the fukus over a sentai outfit. We need to hide our faces anyway, cause we're zombies."

Lily considered her. "You know, I could live with that."

"I don't think we quite have the skills to go out and battle evil," Junko pointed out.

"I could train you," Saki offered.

"I... would rather be the kind of hero who inspires others to do their best." Junko shook her head. "So... maybe I could stay behind and work with the computers."

Sakura wiggled out of Tae's grasp. "Yeah, I can get that. I'm more of a... caring sort of hero."

"We have noticed," Yugiri said with a fond smile. "And that sort of care can save lives. I know that from... well, before."

Saki looked over at her, raising an eyebrow. "You can't leave us hanging like that, big sis."

"I talked a man out of committing seppuku. I would rather spare you the details."

"...Fair enough," Saki managed faintly. "Any acts of heroism in your past, Sparkles?"

"Ai was my hero," Sakura said simply.

Ai blushed. "Sakura-chan--"

"I was in a funk, too depressed to move from the couch, and you came up on television. Inspired me to get moving again." Sakura smiled wryly. "Then I ran out the door, got hit by a truck, and woke up ten years later with a bunch of zombies telling me I was a famous idol. And there you were again, with a fresh batch of heroes beside you." She smiled at the others. "All of you... trying your hardest to get me to get up again. I... I don't think I ever thanked you for that, did I?"

"Hey, it's what a crew does," Saki said dismissively. "We keep each other going."

"Heroism," Yuguri repeated solemnly, "is to provide the chance for life to improve."

"Yeah, but we're not alive, so helping us isn't heroic."

Lily started stroking Tae's hair. "I mean technically we aren't alive, but we're also not dead. We have active processes in the world. We have personalities. We are... hmm, if I say people, then that means helping animals isn't heroic, but saving kittens is... Um... we're thinking--no. Self-motivated beings... yeah. That's what life is. Self-motivation."

"So you're saying office drones aren't alive?"

"Saki-chan! Stop twisting my words!"

Ai rolled her eyes. "Saki, we are more alive than dead. We may not have started that way, but..." She stared at her bandaged, twitching hands. "We have an oppurtunity now. A second chance... to be heroes."

"...does that mean Shades is a hero?" Saki asked plantively.

"Ennnnh... he performed one act of heroism," Ai allowed. "Maybe a few more. Don't think he's quite earned the title yet."

 


	4. Starlit Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The strangest thoughts can come out under the eerie moonlight.

"You ever wonder why we're here?"

Sakura sighed, looking up at the stars. "All the time, Saki-chan. My life was one long series of cruel jokes, and my death and resurrection is the punchline. I get to be a successful idol after losing literally everything, and I don't even get to remember it until I forget what I had gained. The others are all entertainers, even you had a sense of presence before and Tae-chan is apparently legendary, but why did Kotaro pick me? Just to be the protagonist in some deranged comedy of fate? Did I come back because of a magical curse, a strange virus, or an aberration of science? Is there even any rhyme or reason to the universe, or are we all just specks on a rock whirling around a fireball that's spiraling through the void?"

The sudden silence was punctuated only by the howl of Romero.

"...Damn, girl, that... that's deep." Saki shook her head. "But I didn't mean like that. I meant, here on the roof."

"We followed Tae-chan," Sakura reminded her blandly.

"Well yeah, but why did Tae-chan come up here?" asked the blonde zombie. "I mean, there's gotta be a reason, right? She doesn't do it every night, so what's different when she does?"

"Grrrrrm hmmph," Tae explained helpfully.

Saki sighed. "Tae-chan... I don't know how to put this politely, but if you used words things would be a lot easier to understand."

The tall zombie stared at her, hunching over on the roof.

"Don't be mean to Tae-chan, she's trying her best."

"I'm not being mean, I'm being honest!"

Sakura pinched her brow. "I'm sorry, Tae-chan, but... well, it's Saki."

"The hell does that mean?"

"Uh, well..." Sakura looked at the challenging glare she was getting and smiled nervously. "You... tend to be a bit gung-ho and don't always think things through?"

Saki narrowed her eyes for a moment... but conceded the point with a shrug. She laid back down and stared up at the sky.

"...you think we'll ever go to the moon again?"

"Eh?"

"I mean I died in the nineties," Saki explained. "I was thinking we'd get space travel sometime in the next century, and here we are, twenty years later, and the last moon mission was what... the seventies, I think?"

"They still send rovers and probes sometimes. And there's the international space station."

Saki snorted. "Yeah, probes and rovers. Space station is cool, I guess, but... I dunno, sitting around while there's stuff to do just bugs me, you know?"

Sakura couldn't help but grin. "What, you want to be an astronaut?"

The two of them chuckled, Tae joining in a moment later.

"...actually, hold on." Saki sat up. "Why couldn't we be astronauts?"

"Because... we're zombies?"

"No no no, that's my point. If you're alive you have to have... stuff, you know. Temperature and keep out of dangerous conditions. We just need food and not to get too battered up. That makes things so much cheaper."

"I don't think it does. Not by a lot." Sakura started counting off on her fingers. "There's still the rocket, which we need to get into space in the first place, then all the education we need to understand how to work space technology, and I think spacesuits do more than just hold in air..."

"Alright, fine, I get it."

Sakura stared up at the moon, absently grabbing Tae when she wandered too near the edge of the roof. "I guess it might be cool, though. Living to a point where we actually become able to go to space casually... getting to see the moon, and mars... do you think there are aliens?"

"Well, we're zombies."

"What does us being zombies have to do with there being aliens?"

Saki shrugged. "I dunno. Stuff. Paranormal... whatevers. You think there might be zombie aliens?"

"...I guess it's not impossible."

Tae slid between the pair, grumbling quietly as she stared up at the sky. Crickets chirped in the grass below.

"...You know," Saki mused, "I didn't really pay too much attention to space stuff when I was alive. Too busy being a kickass biker captain. But... light, right? It has a top speed?"

"Yeah?"

"So some of the stars we're seeing... they're dead. Gone. But the light is still there, shining down on us. Even after its dead. And... we're dead. But we're idols. So... that's nifty."

Sakura giggled. "You're not good with this metaphor stuff, are you?"

"Man, I don't know! I just go with my gut a lot of the time!"

"Hee hee hee..."

Saki growled. "I'm not stupid."

"Of course not," Sakura said quickly. "You just don't like to waste time thinking."

"Yeah." Saki nodded. "Yeah, but I'll think when I need to. You know?"

"I know, I know..."

Tae groaned, pointing up at the sky.

"Huh?" Saki looked up. "Oh yeah! That's a jet, good spotting, Tae!"

"You know, jets are made to be easily spotted," Sakura pointed out.

"Now who's being mean?"

"I'm--oh gosh, I am! I'm sorry, Tae-chan, it really is a cool looking jet!"

Tae hummed, patting Sakura's face reassuringly.

"...Jets, and stars, and the moon, and aliens." Saki yawned. "You know... I'm kind of curious why we don't come out at night more often."

"Because every time I've come out at night somebody has pointed a gun at me," Sakura replied. "...Actually, not every time. There was that time out on the playground equipment... but that's still in the bounds of the mansion."

"...Nobody pointed a gun at Ai and I when we went out during that storm."

"Coincidence."

"Or maybe I'm just so awesome that people don't want to shoot me."

"Maybe." Sakura nodded. "Maybe... hey... Saki?"

"Yeah?"

"You know how... how I try to be cheerful and bright all the time, even though I'm not... always able to be cheerful and bright?"

"No."

Sakura blinked. "What?"

"Honestly didn't notice it until now. But it does explain a lot."

"Heh. Well... my point is... you make it easier for me to pretend to be that."

Saki gave her a look. "I do?"

"You all do."

"Oh."

"...What?"

"Nothing," Saki said quickly. "But... yeah, I guess you're welcome."


	5. All Kinds Of Fans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who ever expected corpses to be so popular?

"YOU'RE MY FAVORITE!"

"Eeeeeey, that's great!" Saki grinned, wrapping a hand around the beaming girl and posing for the camera her friend held. "One, two, three!"

"EEEEEEEE I GOT A PHOTO WITH NUMBER 2!"

The other girl lowered her camera with a wry smirk. "Do you have to phrase it like _that,_ Masuyo? Some people might get the wrong idea."

"Well it's not like I can call her anything else!" The girl turned to Saki. "Do you have anything else I can call you?"

Saki shrugged. "Sorry, can't give out our real names because our manager is crazy about security."

"Don't you have nicknames, though? Like, isn't Number 6 called Shrimpy, you called her that once--"

"Ha! No, that's my nickname for her," Saki said quickly. "But... yeah, callsigns would be good. Tell you what, I'll float it by everyone and see how they like it."

"You mean..." The girl's smile grew even broader. "You mean you're going to use my i--?!"

"Shhhhshshsh!" The other girl clapped a hand over her friend's mouth. "You can't say that, the lawyers will hear you!"

"Rmmnn, rmmnn, bmn 's s' cmmm!"

"You know something, girl, with that brain of yours you could do something cool yourself." Saki pulled back, waving them off with a smirk. "Now get going, I've got other fans too."

Ai chuckled as she watched the pair wander off. "Some fans, huh?"

"Yeah. Wow, I'm actually getting used to the idea of having fans."

"You didn't have fans before?"

"Like this?" Saki shook her head, quickly taking a pose for another person eager to get a photo with her. "No. The kind of fans I had were less... starstruck, I guess."

"That makes sense--hello! It's good to see you here!" Ai smiled at a young boy, hiding her awkward expression at his blue-and-grey dog plushie. "Oh, is that Romero?"

"Uh huh!" The boy held up the plush. "He likes you!"

"I guess he does!" Ai patted the plush softly, glancing up at the boy's... older brother, maybe. "You think your Romero can help you like ours helps us?"

"Uh... what does doggy do?"

"He tells us all when it's time to practice," Saki explained. "Gets us all into the practice room and the meeting dungeon."

The older boy blinked. "Meeting dungeon?"

"Yep. There's bars, an iron door, and a chalkboard. Funny how buildings get repurposed, huh?"

The little boy blinked, looking down at the plush in his head. "Doggy helps homework?"

"Well, yes!" Ai said.

"But you sing. I thought singy ladies didn't homework."

"We have singing homework. And dancing homework."

The boy considered this for a moment. "...if I did singy homework, could I be a singy lady?"

"Maybe!" Ai said. "It's... there's a lot more than singing involved--"

"Aaaa," Saki interjected, "if he wants to sing, let him learn how to sing. There's plenty of lessons online, right?"

"I just don't want to make it seem like it's just a magic key--"

"You're overcomplicating things. Look kid." Saki knelt down. "Anything in life you want to do, you have to work to do it. Not just to _be able_ to do it, but to find a place _where_ you can do it and people will praise you. That can be harder than it sounds, yeah, but!" She tapped the plush dog, giving the older boy a pointed look. "You keep an eye out, you get the help you need, and you can do anything you devote yourself to. You got that?"

"...Okay, miss 2."

"And don't be afraid to make mistakes," Ai added. "If you let yourself worry about every time you mess up, you'll keep yourself from moving past them, from moving forward. Mistakes are not a disaster; they are an opportunity to learn."

"Okay miss 3!"

"Hey, how about you get a picture with both of us?" Saki suggested. "Do you have a camera?"

"Takumi does," the boy said, pointing at the older boy.

Ai knelt down beside him. "Okay, so let's all smile at Takumi so he can take a picture of us!"

The older boy managed a small grin himself, snapping a picture of the kid and the two idols. With a grateful nod, he took the younger boy's hand and dragged him off.

"Miss 2. Miss 2...." Saki stood up, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "I don't know, I don't feel like a miss."

"You're older than I am," Ai pointed out as she stood. "By all rights you should be terrorizing younger men with ridiculous flirting right about now."

"Ha! More like the city cops with a mean bike." She nudged the other girl with an elbow. "You youngn's, always thinkin' bout romance these days. Back in my day--pffff, no, I can't keep a straight face."

Ai rolled her eyes. "It's probably best if our _actual_ age remains ambiguous, for a number of reasons."

"Yeah, yeah, advertising and not wanting to expose ourselves, I getcha. Still, it's kind of weird that we're all different ages and still... you know, working together."

"Not the weirdest thing by far." Ai glanced out at the crowd and flinched. "Oh no. It's him again."

"Wh--oh, _him."_ Saki pinched her brow. "Alright, here we go..."

A man with shining eyes and a charming grin swooped up to the pair, kneeling in front of Ai. "Hello again, fair maiden! Might I present you with a token of appreciation for your glorious voice and incredible performance?" He held out a bento box for her to inspect, roguishly slicking back his hair.

"Oh, thank you, mister," Ai replied, keeping a smile plastered on her face, "but no. I'm afraid I cannot accept that."

"You need not worry about appearances, fair maiden. I know how oft efforts of entertainers are stressed beyond even basic comforts. This can remain ever our secret."

"While I appreciate that you are thinking about my needs, I can assure you that I am fed as well as I wish to be, and this really is unnecessarily extravagant."

"Such words! Are you sure you would not like some surume to assage your hunger at the moment? I sought only the finest for--"

Tae lunged at the box, ripping it out of his hand with a growl and bringing her jaws down on it.

"Number 0, no!" Sakura rushed by them, waving her hands. "We don't just eat boxes!"

The man blinked. "Ah..."

"Dried squid," Saki explained. "Zero has a thing for it."

"...well... then."

"Maybe she'll want to thank you?" Ai suggested.

"That--that really won't be necessary," the man said quickly, standing up and looking over to where Tae was gnawing on the box. "I... well... thank you for your time."

Saki quirked a brow as he turned around and left. "...Look, seriously, if you need me to punch the guy--"

"Wait till he actually does something," Ai replied firmly. "He's been irritating, but hasn't crossed any lines yet."

"...Right. Fans, huh?"

"One heck of a mixed bag."


End file.
